sketches from life

1. Buy her roses. 

You can hardly go wrong with roses, unless your girlfriend is allergic to them. Roses are romantic. They are beautiful. They say, "I value you; I  think you're beautiful." Color is important though. Don't you dare go buy your date yellow roses for Valentine's Day. Those say something different. Romantic roses should be red, or sometimes white. A mixture of red and white is also nice. Pink can sometimes work too, but they are a little more sweet than romantic. 

Of course, roses are not all that original (though that doesn't really diminish the pleasure of receiving them) so if you want to get a little more creative, that's fine as well, but make sure you think about what the flowers are saying. Carnations aren't nearly as romantic as roses, for instance. The point is, make sure the flowers you buy her make her feel beautiful and cherished. And by all means, if she has a favorite flower that you know about, buy those for her. It will show her that you listen.

2. Be a gentleman.

Hopefully, this is not just a once-a-year thing for you, but at least this once, go all out. Be the perfect gentleman. When you go to pick her up (with your flowers, of course), go to her door and knock. Don't sit in your car and text her, "I'm outside." For real. And if you do that on your other dates, stop it. Always go up to her door. Always. 

Once she's answered the door and you've given her the flowers, walk her to the car and open the door for her. When you've arrived at your destination, open her door again. Even if you have to tell her to stay put to allow you time to get around to her door, do it. Believe me, it says a lot when you're obviously trying to treat us well. We like to be taken care of. It makes us feel special. So open all the doors for her. Pull out her chair (if you can do so without accidentally pulling it out from under her....). Even if you're just going to McDonalds, these little things don't go unnoticed. 

3. Write a note or love letter.

We understand that most of you guys don't really like to talk all that much about your feelings, but we still like to hear them. We want to be told how much you value us, how you feel about us, and so forth. A love letter is a beautiful way to do this. This is something that doesn't have to be done just for Valentine's Day. And even if it is for Valentine's Day, don't necessarily give it to her while you're on your date. If you're with her, be with her and tell her things face to face. But maybe a letter in the mailbox a day or two before or after, telling her how excited you are to spend Valentine's Day with her, or how much you enjoyed your date on Valentine's Day, along with some sweet (and genuine!) flatteries and such is always a nice gesture. Even just a short little note hidden somewhere for her to find later is an incredibly appreciated gesture. And don't worry. If you're a really terrible writer, get someone to help you out. Just make sure that the content of your letter is from your heart. It doesn't make you less of a man, so get over it. 

4. Buy her a gift.

It doesn't have to be expensive. It doesn't have to be flashy. You can go with the traditional chocolates, flowers and jewelry if you like, but as that's become somewhat cliche, you might want to get a little more creative with it. Whatever your choice, make sure it's significant to both you and her. It's the thought that counts, but make sure that it's an actual thought, not last minute panic. Start thinking now about what you could do. Maybe enlist one of her friends to try to figure out something she'd appreciate. Surprise her with something personal and sweet. 

5. Make it romantic.

There are lots of ways to go about this. You could go all out, cook her dinner and serve her at a candle lit table for two. You could take her to a favorite restaurant. You could have a picnic under the stars. Take a long walk if the weather is nice. Cuddle up on the couch for a good movie. What you do is really less important than how you do it. Choose something that you know she likes -- even if it's not something you like. Make sure she knows that the evening is all about her. I had a date once who made me a CD with favorite love songs on it, which we listened to over dinner at his house. It was a sweet gesture and a lovely surprise. See, it doesn't have to be expensive and elaborate -- it just has to be heartfelt. 

So let the V-Day preparations begin! Don't panic though. Make it fun. Enjoy yourselves. Be yourself and let her do the same. 

Good luck!

Oh! And I did promise to post the picture of my finished drawing, so here it is: